


Strongest Ties

by Bobbie23



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Episode: s08e18 Threads, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2020-10-29 05:30:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20791412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobbie23/pseuds/Bobbie23
Summary: "I'm sorry to bother you at home like this." Her nervousness comes off of her in reams and she isn't reading him as she does in the field, in the briefing room, anywhere but here. Or maybe she is and is choosing not to so she can this off her chest. He wants to say something to save her from going too far before Jacob comes out and catches them.An AU for Threads.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author Note – An AU of Threads, replacing Kerry with Jacob. I have taken some liberty with the dialogue from that episode to set the scene. Also references to season four’s Divide and Conquer in coming chapters. 
> 
> As a side note, there was a discrepancy between the transcript and DVD subtitles for the spelling of “Lo’machen” so if anyone can clear this up for me, I already adore you and thank you in advance.
> 
> Please don’t hate me, I must confess though, I preferred Kerry to Pete. If just for the simple fact that she saw Sam and Jack together once and got it. She held her hands up and bowed out instead of causing a rift. She knew Jack wouldn't choose her over Sam in the end and I liked the advice she gave him when she ended things, especially since Jack didn’t deny anything she said. I can see why they introduced Kerry but Jacob was meddling in his own way and Sam was already having second thoughts. Jacob could have said what Kerry did in his own way. So that’s what I’m going for here. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy. If you have the time, I would love to read any feedback you have. This story is already posted on FF but I’ve tidied up the editing as well as tweaked a few bits I wasn’t happy with. 
> 
> Disclaimer – I don’t own anything, just borrowing for entertainment purposes. No money is being made.

Strongest Ties

“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Jack O’Neill stands on his deck by his smoking grill. He pulls head back, trying to eye the thick steaks through the thicker fog as he drenches them in beer. The coals hiss and send another wave of smoke into the air as retaliation. He’s too focused on the meat to notice his second in command approach from the front of the house. 

“Hi Sir,” she calls out, alerting him to her presence.

He holds the large fork away from him over the grill, complete with dangling steak, as he looks up to find her stop at the bottom of the steps.

“Carter,” Jack greets. 

He squints a little, not just because of the smoke but because he’s been waiting for her to show up. She’s been too quiet, mulling over recent changes, and he’s tried to justify it in his mind as what every bride-to-be goes through coupled with the fact Daniel was missing and their continuing fight with both the Replicators and Anubis. A year ago, he would’ve sought her out, got her to open up to him in that non-verbal, loaded way of theirs which somehow makes everything easier to deal with. Only the last time he tried that she ended up with another man’s ring on her finger. So, he’s waited for her to come to him. If she needed to as he’s not sure it’s his place to be a sounding board when there’s another man’s ring on her finger. He’s certain he surrendered that right when he kept his mouth shut about the ring. 

Hey, ho. 

Time to focus on the present because the timing sucks. One of the two worst people who could interrupt them is going to in a matter of moments. 

“I’m sorry to bother you at home like this,” she breathes out quickly without waiting for him to question her presence even though he knows it’s in his expression. 

Her nervousness comes off of her in reams and she isn’t reading him as she does in the field, in the briefing room, anywhere but here. Or maybe she is and is choosing not to so she can get this off of her chest. He wants to say something to save her from going too far before Jacob comes out and catches them. That would be far more embarrassing for her than admitting their feelings for one another in front of Teal’c and Janet years ago or being interrupted a year ago by Daniel. He’s tried to forget that moment, tried to blame it on the fact that he was slowly losing his mind and pretended he didn’t know what it could’ve been or meant. As much as he tried to deny it, in his gut he’d known what she was going to say. He’d felt the weight of impending regret and he’d been a coward. It was still early days with Shanahan. He didn’t want his ghost to mess that up for her. 

He knew what would happen if he had given in to the urge to go to her then; he’s seen her mourn him plenty of times and thought it might be easier if neither of them said what they both felt. Instead, he’d hunkered down in the house so he wouldn’t leave her grieving him. He wouldn’t leave her with that guilt with Shanahan in the picture. 

“How’d you know I was here?” He asks bringing himself out of his own thoughts. 

“I saw the smoke,” Sam says with a nod at the grill. 

“Oh, yeah,” he brushes the front of his shirt. In his head, he does a quick count of how long Jacob has been in the house and how long it should take him to find the things to set the table before he returns. 

Caught up in her own anxiety of being here, she thinks his short answers are directed at her rather than considering any other explanation. “Look, is-is this okay? I mean, I could have called first, but-.” 

“No. Yeah. I mean, it’s fine. So um,” he glances at the back door over her shoulder. He’s not going to turn her away now she’s here. “What brings you to this neck of the woods on such a fine day? My back yard.”

“Well, actually, I’ve been sitting in your driveway for the last ten minutes trying to work up the nerve to come and talk to you.” She looks away, gesturing in the direction she just came from. There’s the tiniest hesitation, the tiniest stall, as she turns back to him. “The truth is, I’ve been trying to work up the nerve for a lot longer than that.”

“Oh.” He knows, he does. He hates that she doesn’t. 

“Pete put a down payment on a house.”

Oh, crap. 

“Well, that’s great.” He prides himself on how immediate his response is and the smooth delivery when he feels like he’s been punched in the ribs. He’s become a pro at this for the last few months. He is happy for her. She deserves everything in this life even if he can’t be the one who gives it to her. But a house? They might be getting married, but it’s still a huge step. One Jack thinks both of them should have a say in, and he can’t help wondering for the hundredth time, why the guy keeps springing stuff like this on her. He doesn’t understand how it flusters her.

“It’s a beautiful house.” She pauses, almost pleading with him to pick up on her train of thought so she doesn’t have to admit it. He wants to take the anguish away from her…

“But?” His mind spares another thought to Jacob as he utters it. Tick, tock. Part of him thinks it would be easier if the older man appeared now to spare them the truth. 

“The-the truth is I’m having second thoughts about the wedding.”

Luckily his mouth deals with that information better than his head and his heart. “Why?” 

Her blue eyes beg him to see the toll this is taking on her yet she carries on regardless. He sees yet he bites his tongue. “See, the things is, the closer it gets, the more I get the feeling that I’m making a big, huge mistake.”

He looks down at the steak in his hand briefly, then even quicker squints at the door again, before back at his hand, looking anywhere but her. He can’t let her do this when they’re still held back by the regs. "Look, Carter, I don't know what…"

“I’m sorry to bother you with this, but, uh…there’s a very good reason that I’m bothering you with this, and if I don’t tell you now, I might never…”

“Jack, I looked everywhere. I couldn’t find…Sam,” her father greets her as he steps out of the back door carrying salad and a tub of coleslaw.

8888

“Dad?” Her head snaps up as soon as she hears his voice. Her breath catches, heart skips a beat before restarting at an erratic pace. He doesn't look at all surprised to find her standing there. “What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the day with Mark,” Sam asks, composing herself with a steadying breath. 

“I was,” her father says trying to hide the tiniest wince from her. Where she and her father had reconciled, he hadn’t fared as well with mending his strained relationship with her brother. They were on speaking terms yet the sporadic visits meant they don't see each other enough to deal with their problems. She can’t help but feel guilty about being able to spend more time with Jacob because of their work. “I was going to, but your sister in law had a work thing they couldn’t get out of,” he adds with a forced smile. “I’ll spend time with them at the wedding.”

Like a ball of dead weight, her stomach drops. The wedding. She really wishes everyone would stop talking about the wedding.  
Her father edges out onto the deck and hands the salad to Jack along with one of the beers. 

“I didn’t feel like spending the night stuck inside the mountain so Jack invited me around for a couple of beers, a game of chess and a steak he claims is the best I’ve ever eaten,” Jacob looks at the other man who waggles the steak in question at her. She huffs out a chuckle. “Considering it’s doused in alcohol; I’d say he’s halfway there.”

She shares a meaningful look with her CO who squints back through the smoke coming from the grill. She’s grateful, Jack didn’t have to spend time with her dad when her brother wouldn’t. He could’ve called her, but she suspects he never thought she’d find out about his kindness toward Jacob, finally convincing her that she made the right decision to come here. Their stare goes on for a beat too long and it takes her dad clearing his throat to bring them back from the moment. Jack’s cheek twitches and he spares a glance at Jacob. Her eyes following his to find the older man staring at them, eyes twinkling as if he knows something they don't. Maybe he does.

Jack clicks his tongue quietly, bringing her attention back to him. "What do you say, Carter? There's enough charred meat on the grill for the three of us.” 

She looks between them, the two men who know her better than anyone else. She knows them too. From the amused expression on her fathers’ face, she knows he is making a point, has been since he met Pete. Still, she can't refuse their invitation because her father has no qualms about calling her out in front of Jack if she tries to run away. She doesn't want to think about how long he was inside, listening to their conversation before he showed himself. The door was ajar and Jack's house isn't soundproof. Even if there’s a chance he didn't hear anything, the look in his eyes tells her he knows why she's here. She can’t even bring herself to consider what Jack is thinking, only just realising his nervous cues moments ago were warnings. 

She’s not going to abandon him to her father’s interrogation, leaving her no other option but to accept the invitation. “Okay.”  
Sam tentatively puts one foot on the bottom step and pushes up into the area. She meets Jack's eyes briefly. Is this okay?

He nods once. 

Her insides churn like she’s in the middle of a free fall and she has no parachute. He’s still looking at her, head inclined slightly, silently asking her the same question. He’s always held back from her as much as he can but he’s been guarded since she met Pete; protecting them both, like always. If he can do this, so can she. She bobs her head and walks toward the table, ready with two plates and cutlery alongside the salad and coleslaw. 

Her dad moves closer to the table while Jack starts removing the steaks from the grill to a plate. 

“Carter, could you grab another plate? Help yourself to beer in the fridge,” Jack tells her moment later. “I think I have I might have some soda in there too.” 

It’s diet and her favourite brand. He’s not going to admit that in front of Jacob. 

“Sure.” Grateful for the exit strategy to have a moment to steel herself for the evening ahead, she disappears into the house.

8888

Jacob settles behind into a chair, leaving taking the corner of the table nearest the house, as Jack moves the steaks from the heat to rest on a plate. Jack places it in the middle of the table and sits opposite the other man folding his arms in front of him, leaving either end for Sam when she returns.

He knew there was something off between the father and daughter pair during their last briefing. Jacob was pushing her buttons for a reason. He was the epitome of the doting father before he met Shanahan – something Jack had made himself scarce for – but obviously, he's formed the opinions which Sam worried about. Jacob has it in him to say his piece without pulling punches. Jack understands why Jacob hasn’t but this isn't how it should happen either. It's not fair on Sam. Jacob knew exactly what he was doing the briefing room and Jack had snapped. 

Go pick flowers.

It’s been his first slip since Shanahan proposed and it had been childish. It wasn’t about Carter. She tried to focus on the briefing. Like always, she put duty before herself. Shanahan was putting her before everything else. Part of Jack agrees with Shanahan on that. She deserves to be someone’s priority. He just wishes he had the same luxury the cop has at expressing it. 

He has always done his best to hold her at arms' length even when everything in him was drawn to her. He's slipped, they both have. He needed to hold her after Anubis's drone was tracking her and she needed to him to hold her after Janet died and she nearly lost him too. One day, those slips aren’t going to be enough. The growing need is chipping away at them and the closer it gets to the wedding he knows something is going to give. He can feel it.

He’s seen the tension building in her for months and knows he could be the safest place for her to direct her frustration. Because he’s her safest bet. He will always be there for her, as her CO, her friend, whether she’s married or not. Jacob knows that even if Sam doesn’t. 

“You’re not subtle Jacob.” Jack draws on his beer casually, acting as though he hasn’t been set up. 

“I don’t have time to be subtle Jack.”

If the wedding wasn’t fast approaching, Jack would question his answer. Instead, he checks the window and sees Carter still occupied with grabbing a beer and a plate. “You can’t just drag me into the middle of this.”

“I didn’t know she was going to turn up tonight Jack,” Jacob insists lowly so Sam can’t hear. Jack believes him but he gets the sense Jacob expected her to go to him at some point. “But you know you’re already in the middle of this.” 

“I don’t know what you think is going on, but you’re way off.” 

“You think so?" Jacob pins him with that knowing look of his. "Humour me, Jack, and let an old man make his point.”

"This could backfire Jacob,” Jack warns him. “It isn’t about you.”

“I’m well aware,” Jacob’s lips press into a thin line. 

“She deserves to be happy and have a life.”

“She’s my daughter, Jack, I want her to have everything. She’s not as happy as you seem to think, Pete makes her nervous.”

“It’s pre-wedding jitters,” Jack insists though the words feel strange in his mouth. He knows what Jacob’s approval means to Sam. “It’ll pass.”

“You’re so blinkered by your need for her to be happy that you don’t see what I do.” Jacob sighs. “Or you refuse to.”

Okay, the older man might have a point. He’s avoided her outside of the run of the mill briefings since he found out about Shanahan and the ring, afraid of another humming encounter. Still, he can’t just admit it, so he crooks his finger at Jacob, “I want a second opinion, what’s Selmac’s spin on all of this?”

“She agrees with me,” Jacob answers casually while holding his gaze deliberately and Jack expects to see the flash of eyes to reiterate the point except it doesn’t come. “Sam’ll be pissed with me but I hope she at least listens to what I have to say and forgives me in time.”

“Yeah,” Jack draws out the word. “Let me know how that goes.”

Jacob concedes his point with a nod and a roll of his eyes. “Sam’s as stubborn as I am,” he sighs. “I was hoping you would’ve pulled your head out of your ass by now and done something.”

“Look, that’s out of line. I’m not going to be the guy she works out her second thoughts with and then decides to marry the other guy anyway because I won’t be the asshole who asks her to choose between me, him and her career.”

Jacob nods approvingly. “You’re a good man Jack, Sam knows that.” Jacob’s eyes pass over him with understanding. “Probably better than you do.” 

“I’m still her CO, Jacob. You know exactly what will happen if I do anything,” Jack pauses. Despite the fact that he’d do anything for her, he needs to protect his own sanity. “She’ll end up hating me for it and that’s not a risk I’m willing to take.” 

“You can’t keep falling back on the regs as a reason to keep you apart, because Jack, you’re making a mistake. So is Sam.” Jacob waits for a long beat, considering his words carefully. “The regs are there to help you make the right decisions, keep your head during the worst possible times. You may not have acted on your feelings for one another, but can you honestly tell me you have perspective when it comes to Sam?”

Jack has nothing to say because Jacob already knows the answer. An answer which proves his point, which doesn’t satisfy either one of them yet they accept it because it’s the truth. Neither has the opportunity to say anything else as Sam reappears.


	2. Chapter 2

_“I felt that thread that had come between us, tugging, tugging at my heart—so hard, it hurt me.” Sarah Waters, Fingersmith_

Jack sits opposite her father as she watches them. He’s one move from winning the game of chess they’ve been locked in for the best part of the last half an hour. Both men added their fair share of posturing and hesitance over the various moves, apparently putting off the inevitable in which the winner faced her.  


She can’t help but compare the scene in front of her, scratch that – the entire evening-, to the one her father shared with Pete less than twenty-four hours before. After she returned from the kitchen, where she could thankfully here nothing more than muffled words and had to drink an entire glass of water to cool down, they managed to relax.  


Sam half expected her dad to ask about Pete, he hadn’t. No one brought up the wedding, flowers, or even the fact that she had left her fiancé as soon as she could after he presented her with a house. If it were anyone else, they’d be celebrating the future they would spending in said house.  


No. She’d run at the first opportunity.  


Which just happened to be a call from Pete’s work about a lead on a case.  


If she hadn’t been looking for an excuse to extradite herself from the afternoon she would have been pissed at his double standard. Or at least she would if she didn’t understand the sense of duty. Pity Pete couldn’t be a little bit more understanding when it came to her work.  


When her fiancé took her home, she waited for him to pull around the corner at the end of her block and got into her car. Coming to Jack’s house wasn’t a conscious effort, or at least she doesn’t think so. Once here, it took her several minutes to work up the nerve to get out of the car. That awkward, interrupted moment had so far gone unquestioned by either man. She owes Jack an explanation. He won’t push for one despite deserving it.  


She shakes her head as she finishes the last of her coke. When she found the six-pack in the fridge, she'd opted for it over beer. The alcohol would take the edge off but she didn't want it to loosen her tongue if her father decided to…she doesn’t know what. The only thing she is sure about is she doesn’t want to have that conversation in her CO’s home or in front of her CO.  


She puts her empty can back on the table and meets Jack’s eyes. She holds the look as he squints at her as if figuring whether the last winning move will be worth defeat at her hands. She wonders who Jack thinks taught her to play. He underestimates his own ability; her dad’s game isn’t slacking and he isn’t taking it easy on Jack yet her boss has been able to match him swiftly move for move, only gaining the upper hand with the last few manoeuvers. She keeps her expression neutral as she feels her dad watching them. She refuses to acknowledge his interest before slightly tipping her chin, telling Jack to make the move. Only when his hand closes over the right piece does she shift her eyes to her father. His head held up by the hand of the arm he’s propped lazily on the arm of the chair.  


“Come on Jack, stop wasting time,” Jacob says around his smirk. “Accept your fate.”  


“You’re afraid of your daughter too,” Jack shoots back, a long index finger raises from the piece to point at her father without releasing the grip of his other fingers. Then he executes the move and her father chuckles. “Alright Dad, remember to thank me for saving you from the embarrassment of getting your ass kicked by Carter.”  


She shares a smile with her dad.  


“Thank you, Jack,” he indulges Jack.  


This is easy. So much easier than…  


Sam looks down. She should stop comparing Pete’s encounter with her dad to dinner with Jack. The strained encounter in the windowless quarters played on her nerves. She doubts it would’ve gone any better if Selmak hadn’t been a part of the equation and the Tok’ra thankfully held her tongue at his remark. With no point of reference on how to deal with Tok’ra, the first thought in Pete’s head fell out of his mouth. She wanted to curl up in the corner with her head buried in her hands.  


Unlike tonight. Her short-lived embarrassment gave way to their easy banter. There’s a familiarity here, with light teasing volleying back and forth, born from years of working together.  


Good food, company and conversation. A few uneasy childhood stories were shared but she figures Jack has seen her at her worst so many times, they barely made a dent in her composure. She had smiled along with her dad as he recounted them. For the first time in weeks, she felt like she can breathe.  


No pressure to be the dutiful soldier or making up for being an absent fiancé.  


There’s no fear or pressure.  


Her father knows who Jack is, what he means to her, how difficult this is for her. In turn, Jack knows her dad, what they’ve been through and how they’ve changed. Her dad likes Jack. More than she ever imagined he would, beyond the camaraderie felt by all members of the Air Force. They have mutual respect and concern for one another, heightened yet not dependent on their common link with her.  


To her knowledge, they have never shared a meal outside of the mess hall or a mission but it feels like they have been here hundreds of times before. The message is all too clear to Sam. She knows Jacob too well. Mark’s rejection gave him an opportunity to speak to Jack.  


Speaking of, the man pushes back from the table and grabs the empties. “I’m going to grab another drink before I take one for the team. Another soda, Carter?”  


“Thank you, Sir,” she agrees as she starts gathering the captured pieces to reset the board. Jack nods at her once.  


“Dad?” Jack asks and her stomach flutters at the familiar greeting. Somehow, he manages to get away with it where Pete didn’t.  


“Not for me Jack, I should be heading back to the base,” her father waves him off and Sam notices him smothering a yawn. He looks more tired than she’s seen him in years. Before she can question him, he adds, “It’s late, past an old man’s bedtime.”  


Sam pauses as she glances at the neat garden now covered in darkness. At some point Jack had lit some citronella candles and turned on the porch light, so she hadn’t noticed the gradual change from day to night.  


“I’ll drive you,” Sam offers and scrapes her chair back when her father does, rising from till her father holds up a hand to stop her.  


“No, it’s okay. I’ll call a cab. You stay, you still have to thrash Jack,” Jacob aims at the other man as he moves to embrace her. “Goodnight, Sweetheart,” Jacob tells her with a kiss on her cheek.  


“Night, Dad.”  


He holds her tightly for a beat longer than he usually does and she takes note of the slightly laboured breath. Then he’s pulling back and patting her shoulder before she can hear another or question him on it. She watches him walk toward the door and for the first time since he took on Selmak, she can see his age.  


8888  


“I can have the guest room ready in a couple of minutes, Jacob,” Jack says once Jacob hangs up with the cab company.  


“Thanks for the offer Jack, but I need to check in with distant friends, let them know where I’ll be till the wedding.”  


Jack pauses at his statement, leaving the door cracked a fraction as they enter through the kitchen. “Not that I don’t love you Jacob, but you’re sticking around?”  


“Barring an interplanetary crisis,” Jacob confirms with a nod. “I’ve missed a lot in my time away.”  


“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and watch me have my ass handed to me?” He asks.  


Jacob chuckles. “Tempting as it is, Sam came here to talk to someone and it wasn’t me.”  


“I thought you had a point to make,” Jack lowers his voice as he follows Jacob through the house to the front door. They step through onto the front porch.  


“I’ve made it,” Jacob assures him and then pats his shoulder twice when Jack frowns at him in confusion. “More subtle than you gave me credit for, huh? Sam knows what she needs to know, she doesn’t need me to tell her.” Jacob pauses, a twinkle in his eye as he teases, “You, on the other hand…”  


Jack looks down, shakes his head, before looking up. “Look, Jacob, I don’t know what you expect me to do-.”  


“I don’t expect anything Jack,” Jacob offers kindly. “When it comes to Sam, I know you will do the right thing for her. Even sacrificing your own happiness.”  


“This isn’t our decision Jacob,” Jack warns him.  


“And she should be making an informed decision.” The older man gives him a look he doesn’t want to decipher. “You haven’t told her how you feel.”  


“How do you know how I feel?” He barely manages to reign in the sudden flare inside of him because he knows Jacob isn’t riling him up on purpose. There’s far too much understanding, too much sympathy in his tone and body language.  


“I’ve known there was something between you two since the first time we met. I didn’t like you because of the way she looked at you." Jack shakes his head and for some reason, Jacob laughs at him while leaning against the railing. Then he clears his throat and turns serious. “My cancer was advanced and I was too stubborn to face my regrets. I was looking for a reason to be angry and push Sam away before the end so she wouldn’t have to watch me die. You gave me that reason until a few weeks later. I never could have fathomed the world she introduced me to when she turned up in my hospital room,” he sighs.  


“That was when I realised the magnitude of the situation and what you would do for her,” Jacob continues. “I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt despite the heavily redacted file I managed to dig up on you.” Jacob meets his eyes meaningfully. “That wasn’t a mistake. Watching you two in the field together is something beyond what I experienced in all of my time in the Airforce.”  


Jacob lets that sink in for a moment. Jack has difficulty reconciling the pride in his voice to where he thinks this talk is leading. Then, like Jack, Jacob doesn’t like these moments to linger too long.  


“That lasted a few months until Freya asked me to explain the tacit of human mating rituals.” Jack winces and resists the urge to look away. With those few teasing words, Jack knows Jacob heard all about the Za’tarc incident. “She wanted to understand why you didn’t just say you wouldn’t Lo’machen with her because you wanted to Lo'machen with my daughter.”  


“Woah!” Jack holds up a hand to stop him there, ignoring the amused glint in the older man's eye. "There was no Lo'machen with anyone! It wasn’t like that,” Jack defends quickly. Jacob raises an eyebrow at the response and then his finger. He lowers the hand. Maybe it was like that but there was more to it. A lot more to it. "Look, Jacob, nothing happened.”  


“I appreciate that Jack,” Jacob says gently. He studies Jack for a long beat. “I doubt Sam would be marrying someone else if it had.” The sympathy in the other man’s expression is too hard to bear.  


“Is that what tonight was about?” He wants to laugh. Or hit the gym and square up to the punching bag for a good hour or two.  


“Initially,” Jacob admits. “I wanted to talk to you and I couldn’t do that at the SGC. I adapted when Sam arrived.” Jacob looks over his shoulder. “Does Sam know that you still…?”  


“She knows.” Jack cuts him off with a breath. He can’t think of another reason why she would turn up at his house this afternoon or a year ago. “Well, I know.”  


“But you haven’t told her,” Jacob probes far too gently for Jack’s liking.  


Jacob knows better than most the fine line between love and duty. There’s no point denying it when it’s clear on his face. Jack shakes his head. “You know I can’t.”  


Jacob tuts lightly, leaving Jack to wonder who he’s tutting at and if perhaps he blames himself for a part in this. “She’s having second thoughts about Pete for a reason, Jack.”  


Jack sighs.  


“There are ways around the regs.” Jacob reminds him. “A little thing called discretion.”  


“No." It slips out firmly, brokering no argument. He would never deny his feelings for her or hide their relationship, let alone show her that disrespect. “People would figure it out. You know what will happen.”  


Jacob regards him by tilting his head to the side. "I’m not saying it’ll be easy but you have options.”  


“You know what I should do?”  


“Retire.”  


“Again?” It sounds simple except even contemplating retirement is difficult. His people are in the field and he’s not going to leave them there alone. Even from the control room, he’s going to have their back.  


“You’re considered invaluable to the program Jack by the Pentagon, but the President has appointed a civilian to run the SGC before.” Headlights appear at the end of his driveway and the horn toots once to alert them to its’ presence. Jacob moves away from the railing, turning over his shoulder to Jack, “Just a thought.” He opens the passenger door. “Talk to her, Jack.”  


Jack watches the cab back out of the drive and stands there for a long moment before heading back through the house. He pauses at the fridge to grab his beer and Sam’s soda. His insides churn as he twists the cap off the bottle and flicks it into the far corner of the kitchen toward the bin. It bounces off the edge and clatters down behind it.  


For the older man to even suggest working around the regs only proved how dire the situation is. As if the ring on her finger hadn’t done that already. He takes a long draw from the bottle, contemplating the wisdom of returning to his backyard. Not because he wants to help Jacob’s campaign.  


Sam came here to talk and, above all, he resigned himself to be there for her no matter what. She needs someone to listen and that wins out over his feelings, Jacob’s and everything else going on.  


With a deep breath, he steps back out on to his deck only to find it empty. “Carter?”  


His eyes track the tree line, darting toward the side access to the front of the house. Nothing, nada. His chest squeezes tight at the thought that she’s left without…The roof above him creaks and he breathes out in relief.  


“Up here, Sir.”  


“Spying on my neighbours, Colonel?”  


She doesn’t miss a beat. “I’d need your telescope for that, Sir.”  


Jack is down the steps and at the bottom of the ladder which takes up residence at the side of the house before he realises he’s moving. He smirks at the hint of insubordination. She was a smartass before they met; his encouragement and own lapse tongue allowed her the freedom to express it. “Do you want me to get it?”  


“I think we’ll be fine.” Her voice is soft and holds only a touch of reticence.  


Jack holds a drink in each hand and manages to grip the rungs to climb the short distance to the reinforced platform. He pauses at the edge. She’s sitting there in the moonlight, knees folded to her chest with her chin resting on the point. Her hair shimmers in the silvery light and when she turns her head towards him, he can see the sheen in her cerulean eyes.  


Errantly he wonders if she came up here to escape or hide or avoid the inevitable conversation. He can’t think of anything better than a sky blanketed in darkness and twinkling stars. He’s always wanted to stargaze with Samantha Carter without the guise of a mission.  


Breaking the spell, she spots the drinks in his hands and shuffles over to take them from him. Once free of his charges, the ladder creaks loudly when he propels himself up onto the roof. Sam settles back into her spot, waiting for him to choose how close he seats himself. He’s closer than he has dared in a long time but there’s still a respectable distance. She hands him his beer and folds back the tab to crack open her soda.  


They stare at the stars for a couple of minutes and neither say anything. Jack errantly thinks of how she said that very few of these planets have a Stargate on them. Still, it's difficult to think about the threats waiting out there while looking at this view.  


“You can see more stars in Minnesota,” Jack comments quietly almost to himself.  


She smiles through her huff. “You’ve stopped asking me to go with you,” Sam accuses lightly.  


“Yes, well, a guy can only ask so many times,” he returns guardedly. “Besides, I don’t think Shanahan would appreciate me asking.”  


She stiffens beside him. And he resists the urge to press her further. She’ll get to it when she’s ready. He has as much time as she needs.  


“You were right about the steak,” she says after a long time to the dark. It’s a delaying tactic to break the pressure from the silence only he doesn’t care. He’s following her lead.  


“What did I tell you? Beer is the key to a great recipe,” comes out easily.  


She rolls her eyes and wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think it counts as a recipe.” She contemplates him for a quick beat. He knows there’s a follow-through. “Is there anything you make without beer?”  


“Why would you?” And he’s rewarded with a giggle. “If you’re ever over here for breakfast, I’ll make you my world-famous omelette.”  


With all the connotations of breakfast and nights before, her smile falters under the blush of her cheeks and he thinks he’s ruined the moment. Then she saves them. “You put beer in an omelette?”  


“And cheese. Salt, pepper.” His shoulder nudges hers. He gets a faint whiff of the honeysuckle perfume she applied hours ago. “Keep it to yourself.”  


She laughs again and blinks away to look back at the sky. They're quiet for a minute and he is momentarily distracted by a car beep in the distance cutting through the silence. If he can hear that…  


“You hear any of that?”  


“Some,” is all she admits, much to his surprise. “I’m sorry.”  


“For what?” She pauses. This time he does prompt her, “You said you wanted to talk.”  


“I said I wanted to tell you something, not that I wanted to talk about it.”  


“You can argue semantics with Daniel when he comes home,” Jack promises, overlooking the slight snap in her tone. It’s almost like they’re waiting for the interruption, another one to stop them from being honest with each other.  


“What if he doesn’t?” She asks softly. She is the only who dares approach him on the matter, probably the only one who’d get away with it.  


He's been putting it off, he knows, and it's not fair to the rest of the base. Daniel is their friend too. Their grief can't be stalled because he's dragging his feet over declaring Daniel dead or arranging another memorial. At some point, he's going to have to stop thinking that Daniel will wander home through the ‘Gate when he’s ready.  


“Carter,” he says and knows she knows what he wants. The anticipation is too much to bear.  


“I, uh, didn’t know where else to go,” she explains softly. “I know this is confusing for both of us, but I don’t know who to talk to.” The catch in her voice is followed by a steadying breath. “Janet is gone and Daniel is missing, my brother is Pete’s friend, Teal’c has made his feelings on the matter pretty clear.”  


“He has?” Jack decides he needs to dial back on the pitch of his surprise. Then again, he shouldn’t be surprised. Teal’c becomes quite vocal when one of them is missing. Well, vocal for him means appearing when they need someone to listen, adding a few choice words to ease their pain.  


“He doesn’t like Pete.” Sam dips her chin up and shakes her head.  


“He said that?”  


“He did the eyebrow thing,” she explains.  


“Ah,” Jack drawls knowingly. In his head, he has a whole catalogue of the eyebrow thing and everything it means in various situations. “Blabbermouth.”  


Despite herself, Sam smothers her smile and the only fitting reprisal falls from her lips, “Indeed.”  


He takes another swig of beer. “You said you think you’re making a mistake.”  


Sam nods her face darkening, biting the inside of her cheek to stop her from airing the frustration which has been growing with everything Jacob had said.  


“Look, Dad-.” He stops when she looks at him, her expression darkening. “What?”  


“You called him Dad at least four times tonight and he didn’t correct you once.”  


He takes note of the resigned tone and figures Jacob is going to get one hell of an earful if she loses her patience and unleashes her frustration. He pities the old man even though he deserves it for meddling and dragging him into the middle of it. But…Samantha Carter is a sight to behold when she's flared up and full of ire. Still, Jack thinks he should play the role of devil's advocate to soften the blow. “I take it Pete…” he gestures with his hand and by the responding nod, he knows she gets it.  


“Yeah.”  


“Oh.”  


“This is my life, not my dad’s.”  


“You said you had doubts,” Jack defends lightly. He can see Jacob’s plan backfiring, pushing her into the cops’ arms and a marriage which would inevitably make her unhappy. Jack refuses to let that happen. He clears his throat. “I’ve been on the receiving end of a few ‘dad’ talks, and there’s a definite theme. Jacob isn’t going to like Pete.”  


“You don’t like Pete,” Sam points out.  


“I don’t know him.”  


“But you don’t like what you know.”  


“I’m always going to be biased Carter.” He stops himself with a groan, his hand waving at himself vaguely and the way her chin tips with the loud swallow tells him she knows what he was going to say. It takes them a long minute to be able to look at each other again. “So is Jacob and Teal’c.”  


They’ll stand by whatever she decides yet no one is going to be good enough for her in their eyes. She seems to accept it with a nod. “Tell me.”  


“Carter, this should be your decision.” He doesn’t want to add to her concerns or the blame if she regrets going through with the wedding.  


“Tell me anyway.” She tacks on after he falters again, “Please.”  


“Carter,” he warns.  


“Jack,” Sam pleads, soft and pained and his undoing.  


“For a cop, his definition of discreet is way off,” he starts with a deep breath. “He did a background search on his friend’s sister who he’d only been seeing for a few months. He bought a house without telling you. To me, both of you should be involved in that decision and celebrating said purchase.”  


He won’t ask how she managed to slip away, what story she gave Shanahan. There’s a possessive side to him which Jack doesn’t appreciate. If Sam had used work, the base would be ringing her cell by now. That means Shanahan is elsewhere and is suitably distracted from missing his bride to be.  


“There are a few things I like about him.” If he’s going to be relegated to the guy-friend she talks to about this, he’s going to give a rounded argument. Now it’s her turn to cock an eyebrow. “He’s trying to give you everything he thinks you want.” However skewed, he adds silently.  


“What about you?”  


“Me?”  


Sam huffs and blinks. “Jack,” she whispers. All he can think is that he needs a sir instead for their own protection.  


“Whatever you decide, I will be here for you,” Jack promises.  


“You will?”  


“Always.”  


It’s the easiest question he’s answered all day. Hell, all year. The readiness to admit it coils in his stomach because he hates the doubt creeping into her voice. He hates the drift which caused it that is as much his fault as hers. She wanted more and he could have said something. He watches her face as her lids slip down over her eyes, the moon reflecting off the tear which slips out under her lashes. He stops himself from pulling her close.  


“I didn’t come to get you out of my system,” Sam tells him. “I needed to clear my head. I didn’t think what would happen after that.”  


The thought never crossed his mind. If it were that simple, they’ve had enough chances and reasons to fill a lifetime. “I know.”  


“When I said we could keep it in that room, I still thought it was just a crush and it would pass with time,” she tells him softly. Sam had been young, not naïve. They were flirting with the boundaries, lying to themselves that their connection didn’t mean as much as they were afraid it did. Does. “I didn’t expect it to grow stronger. Knowing you felt the same, knowing we both...I don’t regret telling each other. That made it easier to deal with the bad missions,” Sam explains. “But sometimes I wished you had fought me on it because I know that you would fight for me in any other way.”  


“I was following your lead. One word from you and I would’ve-.”  


“No,” comes the vehement answer he needs. “You’ve given so much of yourself to the program, I wasn’t going to let you throw it away for me. If we hadn’t worked out, it would’ve been for nothing.”  


Jack holds his tongue for once, unable to deny anything she says. As much as he’s certain they would work, there’s that niggling feeling in the back of his head reminding him he doesn’t deserve the happy ever after a life with Sam would surely bring. She knows the SGC is a lifeline for him, what it replaced. She understands him and doesn’t call him on it. He doesn’t see what she does in him. He’s cantankerous, fires off inappropriate jokes and has a dodgy knee. He’s not blind to her faults but hers are endearing.  


“I went on a date a couple of weeks ago,” Jack tells her. He isn’t trying to be cruel; he needs her to know she wasn’t the only one trying to move on. He doesn’t expect her to look at him but he can see the strain in her body. “I convinced myself you were happy so I tried to be happy for you. I just needed to distract myself.”  


“Oh?” It comes out as a croak.  


“It didn’t work.” He couldn’t stop thinking about her.  


“Oh.” It’s a sigh of relief.  


“Nothing has changed, I can’t give you a date and time when this will be over,” Jack tells her. For all their whispered confessions, he’s still her CO and moonlight is bouncing off another mans’ ring on the finger curling around her far elbow. Her decision to end things with Shanahan can’t hinge on them. “Think of us as the variables in one of those math equations you can do in your sleep and make my head hurt.” Her head turns toward him, curious. “Take us out of it.” Her eyes flick up to his and hold. He reminds himself to breathe. “Do you get the same answer?”  


There’s a beat and a tear slips out of the corner of her eye. Then she answers him with a slow bob of her head.  


“Then don’t do it,” comes his plea. His heart hammers in his chest. The last thing he wants is for her to go through with a wedding and endure a marriage which will make her miserable. It’s harder to get rid of a husband than a fiancé.  


“I’ve told him about the program…”  


"I can think of several dark dank cells we can throw him into if that becomes an issue. Not all of them are off-world." He's only half-serious. She rolls her eyes. Second best to a smile, but he'll take it. “Are you in love with him?”  


“I think I love the idea of the normal life he represents,” she sighs honestly. She rests her chin on her knees then utters with a heart-clenching clarity he never wanted her to acknowledge, “It’s not my life to live.”  


He wanted that life for her, that experience. Their lives are anything but typical and he wanted something to ground her when she needed it, provide the one thing he can’t. Still, it’s not the answer to the question he asked.  


“Are you in love?”  


If they were on the ground, if it were hours earlier, if it were before their revelations, he’s certain she’d bolt. Unless she wants to chance the one storey drop to the grass, her only way out is shuffling past him. Only, he’s wrong and she sits there, struggling with his question. Her eyes drop to his lips as they inch closer.  


“Sam,” he breathes, begging.  


Her lips part only to be stopped by her phone ringing in her pocket.  


Her eyes close briefly in disbelief even as she’s reaching for it. He manages to spy the number. The SGC. She glances at him, composing herself as she answers. “Colonel Carter.”  


Jack watches her face drop as they brief her, wondering why they went to her and not him first. Her eyes slid closed and the worry etches into the small vee in the middle of her brow. Her eyes don’t reopen till she’s finishing the call. When they meet his, they’re filled with fresh, unshed tears. “It’s my dad, he collapsed when he got back to the base,” she explains in a rush.  


“Go,” Jack urges her. They both rise and he moves aside for her to access the ladder.  


She hits the ground and makes it halfway around the house as he follows her down. She falters at her car and turns. “Jack.”  


He pauses at the raw sound of her voice travelling the distance between them.  


“Not with him.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know how Threads ends for Jacob and, try as I might, I couldn’t avoid it. Such a huge character death deserves its own chapter. Contains dialogue from Threads.

_“We'll let time knit these gentle ties between us.” ― Molière, The Misanthrope._

  
“Dad?”  
  
As soon as Sam enters the dimmed observation room, the nurse finishes reading the vitals on the monitor and discreetly leaves. Jacob barely notices as his daughter moves toward the bed, seemingly floating under the muted spotlights. Or it could be the painkillers they’re pumping through his veins to help him fight the toxins in his blood. He would have refused but he’s still got a few things to do before he gives in and hopes Selmak forgives him for selfishly holding on longer than he should.  
  
“I’m sorry kiddo. We both are,” Jacob says, remembering Selmak’s last words to him as he slipped into a coma on Dakara. _‘I'm sorry Jacob, I wanted to be here for you and Samantha.'_  
  
“About what? What’s going on?” She looks so confused as she stands beside him.  
  
“I didn’t wanna ruin everything like this.”  
  
His head is too quiet without Selmak’s voice. Jacob kept his grief for Selmak to himself, missing the elders’ wisdom and gentle humour. He swallows heavily. Her passing brought back memories of his wife’s death. He blames himself. If he hadn’t been too stubborn and asked for help, he might not be lying here.  
  
In the short, few years he’s served as the liaison between Earth and the Tok’ra, the Tok’ra have withdrawn from allies because of lack of trust. He doesn’t blame them. He understands their history and their pain. Constantly on alert and moving instils a certain level of paranoia. They had to do what they believed was right for their people, especially with dwindling numbers.  
  
He’s grateful for the reprieve and new life they gave him through joining with Selmak but he doesn’t want it without her. He doesn’t want to take on another symbiote only to lose them as well.  
  
He lost the two people who knew him better than anyone as he felt his own life slipping away. This time there are fewer drugs – pain relief -, no endless trips to the hospital or people asking him about his final wishes. Or regrets.  
  
Jacob is more than capable of dwelling on them himself. Left to his own devices with only his symbiote’s memories for guidance, he found himself contemplating what was happening around him. Selmak tampered down on his General-default way of dealing with his life.  
  
After his wife passed, he closed himself off. He had no idea how to act around his children and fell back on his military training especially when Mark railed against everything associated with it. Including him.  
  
Selmak changed that. With access to his memories, feelings, regrets, she managed to help ease the pain and think about how it affected his children. Unlike anyone else in Jacob’s life, he wasn’t content until Jacob faced it. He was uniquely persuasive and while Jacob had reservations initially, he can say without a doubt, it was the best thing for him. Selmak brought him closer to his children, especially Sam. His eyes flutter up to her face.  
  
“Dad…” He’s put her through so much in the last few days. He doesn’t want to put her through anything else.  
  
“It’s Selmak, she’s dying.”  
  
“Oh, my God. I’m sorry.” Sam’s hands grasp his.  
  
“It’s okay, he’s okay. He led a pretty full life.”  
  
They discuss his options and choice. His sweet Sam, who fights for everything in her life with disregard to her happiness, holds his hand while trying to hold back her tears. She mentions Jolinar and Jacob doesn’t have the heart to tell her it’s different. Her union with Jolinar had been an act of survival, not one of choice like blendings should be. If it had, and Jacob knows Sam would have never willingly done it with the information she had back then. Jolinar wouldn’t have had to take full control and Sam would’ve seen so much more than she remembers. Jacob will be forever grateful for Jolinar’s sacrifice to save Sam and how it lead to his own hosting.  
  
Sam tries to think of everything which may work but, in the end, this is his path. He explains how it happened. He holds his tongue to stop himself from revealing his reasons for holding on. He’s planted the idea in their heads and he can only hope they take his advice rather than hide from themselves and everything they can be. He doesn’t want to mar their turning point with his passing.  
  
“I didn’t wanna spoil your wedding. You know, I thought we could make it.”  
  
He wanted to like Pete for Sam’s sake. Admittedly, Jacob hadn’t made it easy for his prospective son-in-law. It’s not Pete’s fault he’s not Jack. She doesn’t give Pete that effortless, megawatt beam she directs at Jack – the one Jacob pretends he doesn’t see.  
  
Jacob doesn’t have time to consider all of their differences. He never got a chance to do anything about Hanson. All he can think is about the time he missed while the Tok’ra were regrouping, wondering if his presence would’ve made a difference. It’s unlikely, neither Sam or Jack would flounder the regs in front of him.  
  
Selmak’s passing put a timer on his own life. Tick, tock. His death near, he found himself with confidence to interfere. They needed a push, even if it was just to clear up any confusion. If he’s pushed them in the right direction, the only regret he will have been not seeing how happy they are together.  
  
“We?” Sam breaks through his thoughts.  
  
“Selmak’s barely alive. I’m gonna die with her, Sam.”  
  
She quietly quenches the sob, her eyes closing then opening with unshed tears as she struggles to keep them at bay.  
  
8888  
  
Thirty-eight minutes. That’s all he can stand before he’s turning the key in his truck’s ignition. He’s not drunk – Jacob’s accident sobered him up pretty quickly - as he reverses out of his drive but he’s careful not to draw any attention to himself as he navigates the streets between his house and the base.  
  
When Jack arrives at the infirmary, after an elevator journey which feels four times longer than it usually does, he checks in with Brightman and gets Jacob's prognosis. He needs to ensure base security, so if this is the result of Jacob contracting some alien disease off-world, he needs to know. Being the base commander finally has its perks. Jack maintains eye contact and bobs his head automatically as he’s told Jacob doesn’t have long.  
  
Instead, he tries not to react with anything other than the sorrow of a friend. Brightman is sympathetic in the right, professional ways, yet Jack can’t help but think it would’ve been easier coming from Janet. Sam would’ve needed her tonight.  
His feet carry him to the observation room Jacob’s been placed in, so he has some privacy away from the revolving door of the infirmary in his final moments or hours. He sticks his head around the door to find a sleeping Jacob without Sam. The heart monitor registers a laboured beat, but it’s there. Jack checks the viewing level to find it empty.  
  
“I managed to convince her to go change,” Jacob’s voice pulls Jack’s attention back to him, his eyes heavy and barely opening.  
  
Jack steps into the room and takes a good look at the ailing man. He’s deteriorated a lot in a couple of hours and Jack thinks it’s only an inkling of the energy Jacob was exerting to project the image of perfect health for so long. Sam won’t be far or for long. “How?”  
  
“We compromised,” Jacob explains on a hard breath. “I lost on food and sleep.”  
  
“You need anything?” Jack asks as he stops beside the bed.  
  
“More than I can ask for in the time I have left and I’ve asked a lot of you today.” He lets Jack off the hook with a sad chuckle. “Selmak and I would like to stay together afterwards, if you can swing it,” Jacob informs him with a small cough.  
It’s a tall ask, but he’ll go head to head with the Tok’ra if they have a problem with it. Homeworld Security will be another battle but he hopes Hammond will do it for his old friend. He has no idea how and wishes Daniel was here to suggest something because he doesn't want it to bother Sam.  
  
Jacob’s fingers touch the back of his hand from where they dangle over the railing of the bed. Jack raises his head. "There are certain things I can't say here Jack, but I think you have a fair idea of what I want to tell you."  
  
Jack nods his head. He’s still military, and Jack appreciates the thought. The cameras don’t have an audio feed but there’s always someone nearby.  
  
“This is going to be difficult and all I ask is that you don’t pull away when you think you should. Sam’ll need a friend, one who understands.”  
  
“Jacob,” Jack sighs, half warning. Everything is so muddled and it’s a lot to take in. Jacob should be focusing on himself. He’s a far cry from the man Jack met at the medal ceremony years ago. He’s a friend and Jack isn’t about to disrespect him by promising something he has no control over.  
  
“I want to know she’ll be loved.” How is something so simple, easier yet harder to admit? Jack searches Jacob’s face and finds nothing but a man waiting to die.  
  
“She already is,” Jack promises as quietly as he can for fear of being overheard.  
  
“I want her to know she is,” Jacob amends with a laboured breath. “She is the only one who doesn’t know you’re in love with her. What are you waiting for?”  
  
Jack hangs his head with a sigh. He thought she already knew and got a better offer. But after her arrival hours, just hours, earlier, after their interrupted conversation on the roof, he isn’t so sure.  
  
Jacob taps his hand again and Jack looks up to see his sad smile. The image of Sam halfway up his driveway pops into his head. With her “not with him” echoing in his ears, Jack nods again.  
  
Jacob pats his hand in approval, his tone light and teasing, “Then, when the time comes, Teal’c can do the father of the bride speech in my absence.”  
  
8888  
  
By the time Sam returns, Jacob is alone. Jack was called away to the ‘Gate room for check-in with Teal'c. Given their success against the Replicators, they’re hoping they can repeat the success with Anubis. Jacob wishes them luck but he’s all too aware they could fail. His mind is drifting and he finds it hard to concentrate. He rolls his head over the pillow to look up at his daughter and the halo of hair around her face.  
  
“A number of the Tok’ra have responded. They wanna pay their respects," Sam tells him and he tries to focus on her voice but her eyes filled him with sadness. She's being so strong for him.  
  
“They can come.”  
  
“I can’t believe there’s nothing they can do. They can remove a Goa’uld. In the last few years, you’ve almost perfected the process of saving a host.” Jacob sighs softly, she isn’t ready to let him go and he’s already gone.  
  
“That process instantly kills the symbiote before it releases toxins. It’s too late for that, Sam.” She looks down at their clasped hands, her engagement ring glaring at him from under the overhead lamp. “I’m sorry. I hate to do this to you, but I should’ve been dead four years ago. Since then, I’ve been all over the galaxy. I’ve done things most men never dream about.  
  
“I’ve heard that before,” Sam replies almost wistfully.  
  
Jacob huffs out what he can of a laugh before clearing his throat. There’s a short pause as they stare at each other, Sam’s gaze soft and full of worry. He has nothing to lose, while she still has everything to lose, he takes a breath and tells her, “I just wanna know you’re going to be happy.”  
  
“I am.”  
  
Jacob sighs again. She’s telling him what she thinks he needs to hear. He needs her to hear him. “Don’t let rules stand in your way,” he implores her.  
  
“What are you talking about?” As much as he admires her for how disciplined she and Jack have been with toeing the military line, he wishes she wouldn’t deny it here with him now. He wishes he’d lasted longer to have a private conversation which wouldn’t leave room for interpretation.  
  
“You joined the Air Force because of me.” He feels responsible and he’s spent his last days trying to correct his mistakes. If she had pursued her career via the non-military route, she still would have been at the top of her field. He’s certain she still would have been invited to be a part of the SGC in a civilian capacity.  
  
"I love my job," Sam utters the words with a certainty Jacob understands and he nods with her words. She loves the thrill of stepping through the Stargate, experiencing new civilisations and their technology. She thrives on it. She’s grown into a good leader who has the love and respect of those around her. He’s so proud of her. He just doesn’t want her to have regrets.  
  
His hand cups her cheek as he implores her to listen. “You can still have everything you want.”  
  
He doesn’t have the strength to say it clearer than he has or the will to leave her with consequences for telling her to give Jack a chance; regulations be damned.  
  
“I do, Dad.” He lets her take his hand from her cheek, his eyes closing briefly. He props his head back on the pillow and looks at her sadly. Her thumb runs over the back of his hand and she bobs her head. “Really,” she adds softly before resting her chin on their joined hands.  
  
Their moment is broken a few minutes later when Walter appears in the door with the few members of the Tok’ra who have come to say their goodbyes.  
  
8888  
  
Jack slides into the chair beside Sam in the observation room. She gives him a sideways glance and straightens just a fraction. He rests his forearms on the desk in front of them and mirrors her body language by clasping his hands, his thumbs twiddle against each other. He looks down at Jacob and his friend to make sure everything is alright for the moment.  
  
“You ok?”  
  
“Actually, I’m fine.” He tilts his chin toward her. Her eyes glassy, yet he knows she will hold back the tears as long as she can. “Good, even, strange as that sounds. I thought I lost him four years ago. Since then, we’ve been closer than we ever were my whole life. In a way, Selmak gave me the father I never thought I’d know.”  
  
Jack blinks but doesn’t comment. Sam seems content with how things turned out, yet Jack wishes she had longer with this Jacob. He looks at her as stares down at her father. He feels the same pull he usually does. It’s dangerous. Not because it’s due to attraction, but because it’s from an understanding. Of loss, of experience, of knowing what she’s feeling. He can’t let her go through it alone.  
  
“Come here,” he utters gruffly.  
  
There’s a flicker in her expression as she turns into him as he’s already putting his arm around her. She takes his hand in hers as it perches on her shoulder and presses it into his cheek. Her thumb runs back and forth over his knuckles. He wants to wrap both arms around her and let her hide her face in the crook in his shoulder and hang on. For the sake of decorum, this one-armed embrace will have to suffice.  
  
“Thank you, Sir.”  
  
He turns to her and softly asks, “For what?”  
  
“For being here for me.”  
  
“Always,” he says watching her. Her face moves to his, her gaze connects with his, before falling back to caress the hand she holds. Her thumb brushes over his knuckles again as she looks back to her father. He follows her lead and finds the dying man watching them with strained eyes.  
  
8888  
  
Jacob looks up at the glass, managing to focus his eyes to see through his own reflection. Jack’s arm is slung around Sam’s shoulder, his hand in hers. They’re talking and Jacob thinks perhaps at least some good has come from today. Sam says something and Jack turns to her. Jacob doesn’t bother trying to read their lips. It’s obvious in the reverent way Jack is looking at Sam as he replies.  
  
Whatever it is, it draws Sam’s attention to him. They get lost in each other for a moment. Sam doesn’t answer Jack with words but her head barely nods. Jacob sees what he needs to and stops fighting the pain. And silently thanks them for the privilege of seeing it before he goes.  
  
“I’m ready.”  
  
They’re all ready.  
  
As soon as the other Tok’ra looks up at them, Sam glances at Jack in silent askance to stay where he is. She slips out of the room and her steps ping softly on the stairs as she descends. Seconds later, she takes her place at Jacob’s side. Her hand taking his as she kisses his forehead.  
  
“I love you,” Jacob tells her and she stays where she as Jacob closes his eyes for the final time. The last thing he feels is Sam’s tear drop onto his cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

_“The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order, a timetable not necessarily - perhaps not possibly - chronological. The time as we know it subjectively is often the chronology that stories and novels follow: it is the continuous thread of revelation.” ― Eudora Welty, On Writing_

  
Jack rounds the bottom of the stairs as soon as Jacob’s heartbeat devolves into that dreaded tone. The room is empty save for Sam and Jacob as the member of the Tok’ra passes him to fetch one of the medical team.  


He’s greeted by the sight of her gripping her fathers’ hand tightly as her lips rest on his forehead for the second time. Her tears fall freely from closed lids as she holds back the sob he can hear in the quiet hitch of her breathing. He moves closer as he lifts a hand to the centre of her trembling back. She eases away from her father and he hates the way his touch transforms her from the grieving daughter to composed soldier he’s spent years in the field with.  


She blinks as her eyes fill again, her face slipping as she stands before him. Even the Air Force can’t make them suppress the pain or the need for comfort in a moment like this. He can’t stand it anymore and is already wrapping his arms around her as he mutters, “C’mere.”  


She sways into him, her arms winding tightly around him as she buries her face in the crook of his neck. Her tears run down his collar as she releases the tiniest whimper which is muffled against his skin. Somehow, he pulls her impossibly closer while her body shakes with silent sobs.  


Behind them, a nurse arrives and when she moves into the room, Jack recognises her as the head nurse who worked under Frasier for years. He doesn’t think she will say anything because she doesn’t glance in their direction as she crosses the room to her patient. She’s seen too many things for this to faze her. Or she could be giving them leeway, like her former boss used to. He tries to remember if she’s military or civilian.  


Too caught up in her grief, Sam doesn’t notice the nurse working quietly around them, checking on Jacob and the life support machines before leaving the room to retrieve the doctor. Jacob asked for no one to attempt resuscitation. He was too far gone to endure it over and over again.  


With a reluctant sigh, Jack taps her back to warn her. Tucked beneath his chin, he can’t see her close her eyes as pushes herself into him a tad closer before breathing deeply. Sam’s shoulders jerk as she hiccups, attempting to steady her breathing as she tries to regain composure before people pile into the room. He doesn’t want her to watch them wheel Jacob out of here even though he knows she’ll need it for her own peace of mind. He’ll stand beside her until she dismisses him from his unspoken duty to her.  


His hand comes up to the back of her head, cupping it gently for a moment before easing her back so he can look at her. She keeps her chin down, wipes at the tears slipping down her cheeks, clearly misunderstanding why he’s pulling her away from him. He doesn’t need her to be the good little soldier right now. He doesn’t want to let her go; he has to.  


Jacob is still warm on the bed. The president can walk through the door and, if he had a choice, he wouldn’t let her go. His resignation-slash-retirement letter is heavy in his pocket.  


It doesn’t matter to Jack.  


However, it will matter to Sam that her grief is about to be intruded on by several people and he knows how self-conscious she’ll be of it later. He can’t shield her from her Jacob’s death but he can protect her from the rumours of being found tucked in her CO’s embrace. She’s private in that humble way of hers and he won’t tarnish it by fuelling whispers.  


His hand slips to her jaw and tips it up so he can see her eyes. Wide, open and glistening. His thumb passes under her eye oh so gently. His other hand stays at the small of her back to stop her from pulling away till she’s ready. The blinking red light over her shoulder reminds him they’re about to be overrun by others. She sucks one last breath and squares her shoulders. Her face is flushed, streaked with tears she hastily wipes away. He doesn’t let the movement dislodge his hand, but he slides it to her neck and his fingers stroke her soft hair at the base of her head. She sighs and leans into his touch, rolling her neck as he finds the pressure spot.  


Footsteps sound in the hall. They pause and count the steps. Timing it perfectly, they simultaneously drop their hands from one another and step back from the bed as the doctor and two members of the medical team entered the room. Sam turns on her step to make way for the doctor and watch him tend to Jacob. Jack watches from behind her, hears the shudder in her breathing and grips her shoulder to offer some comfort as Jacob is covered with a white sheet.  


8888  


Hours later, once they triple check the base after they abort the self-destruct; personnel, systems, and everything in between; once she’s clear, Jack sees her blonde hair disappear into the overcrowded hall outside the Gate room. He manages to free himself an hour later when everything checks out as normal after he’s relayed the incident to Hammond and the President. A quick glance at the sign out sheet tells him she’s still on base even though he knows she would never leave till the Gate diagnostics came back normal. Harriman and other Gate technicians have that covered.  


In the face of Anubis’s last attack, she hadn’t faulted or shown any sign of her loss. She’d accepted condolences from various people who knew her father with grace before doing her job. The only person she reacted to is him and his snap of ‘Carter’ as he ordered her to set the self-destruct, he tampered down on it immediately then repeated her name softly as an apology to spur her into action. They shared a quick look, trying to convey everything they couldn’t say but it wasn’t enough while waiting for the clicking clock to do its thing. He could barely take solace in the fact that they were together in what was potentially their final moments.  


Jack continues to search the base for Sam. He knows she’s lingering somewhere in the halls of the SGC.  


If this was a normal day, a few weeks ago, a month ago when he thought she’d moved on and was happy, he’d be turning on his heel and heading out. He’d let her be comforted by her fiancé. Except it isn’t a normal day and he knows Pete won’t cut it after her confession in his driveway. The prospect of seeing the cop is probably making the whole thing worse considering her acknowledgement that she isn’t in love with him.  


_“Not with him.”_   


Her voice echoes in his head and he has to shake it off and he turns on his heel to go in the opposite direction.  


Surreptitiously Jack checks her lab, the commissary. Knocks three times on the women’s locker room, only to be told she isn’t in there. Luckily for him, the female officer doesn’t question why he’s looking for her. Though she does presume he’s looking for Sam when she first opens the door. _‘Looking for Colonel Carter, Sir?’_  


Is he really that obvious? He scowls and keeps moving.  


He circles back to the Gate room twice to find she’s still missing. He almost thinks he’s going to have figure out a way to search the entire twenty-eight floors for her without drawing attention to himself. He considers the infirmary, following up on what needs to happen with Jacob or when she can start arranging the funeral. As far as Jack is concerned, he’ll clear whatever she wants.  


Just as he thinks he’s going to have to get Walter to send out a call for her over the tannoy, he ends up at the elevators and follows two airmen on to the waiting car. One of them presses the button for the level dedicated to personnel quarters. Leaning against the railing on one side, he waves off the airman who asks him which floor. They’ve given him an idea of where to direct his search.  


He figures Jacob’s quarters is a good a place as any. If she’s not there, he’ll try her quarters. Maybe Daniel’s.  


None of them speaks on the journey up and the awkward silence once again reminds Jack he’s the man. He hates it. Everyone watches their step around him because of it. They just dodged planet-wide annihilation, they should be letting off some steam.  


Soon enough, they disembark on the same floor and he ignores the shared glance the two airmen exchange as he heads down the hall toward Jacob’s quarters. Jack tries to forget that, days earlier, Jacob had met his prospective son in law here.  


His knuckles rap sharply on the wood and he refrains from the shave and a haircut tap. He pulls a face at the door when no one answers him. Still, all instincts are telling him to stick his head around the door and check anyway.  


Turning the handle, he eases the door open. Half of his body is leaning through the gap before he can stop himself and he notices her shadow pacing by the small bookcase in the far corner. There’s a couple of boxes on the bed, already half full yet organised into books, clothes and mementoes – trust Sam to be organised when packing up her father’s room. Her BDU jacket is folded on a pillow. He opens his mouth to tell her this can wait then registers that she is holding a phone to her ear with the hand not thumbing through the remaining books.  


“Yeah, it was cancer,” he hears her say quietly into the phone. The credible cover story rolls off her tongue easily; she doesn’t have clearance to give Mark the real cause of death. She pauses. “He didn’t tell me it came back either, Mark.”  


Between Jacob’s death and Anubis’s latest attack, there hasn’t been much chance time to make the relevant phone calls. Sam listens to Mark for a few minutes and Jack feels stuck, intruding on a private moment which should be just family. Sam’s family to him, her brother is a stranger who stares back at him from one photo on her mantle at her house.  


Jack eases back, hoping to leave unseen as he arrived. But then she half turns and lifts her head, tucking the receiver to her ear, pinning him with her stare and holds her hand out for him to stop. He meets her eyes and she beckons him to stay with her. Against his better judgement, he steps into the room fully and shuts the door with his back. He stays there as she returns her attention back to Mark.  


“No, no, I’m not alone, I wasn’t when Dad…My CO was with me…He’s a good friend.”  


Mark must say something to that as her expression flickers into half an eye roll. With his disdain for the Air Force, Jack wonders how a military funeral will go down with eldest Carter-sibling or if Sam will receive the folded flag alone. It’s the least Jacob and Selmak deserve, they’ve done more for the planet than anyone knows. He’ll do his best to grant their last request to stay together. There’s no solid answer from Washington yet, but he did broach the subject with Hammond when Jack relayed the news of his friends’ passing.  


“I’ll let you know as soon as we can start making arrangements,” Sam says glancing at Jack hovering by the door. For once her face is unreadable, her deep blue eyes so expressive that he sees too much in them to pinpoint what she’s actually thinking. Then she half turns away from him, her free hand coming up to cup the back of her neck, as she tells her brother, “Uh, Mark, I haven’t told Pete yet.”  


She listens to Mark and closes her eyes, breathing in deeply to compose herself. Thirty seconds later, her eyes spring open and she barely manages not to snap, “I want to tell him in my own time. Not while I’m on base.” Pause. “I don’t know when I’ll be home, Mark. I want to clear dad’s quarters first and be here when he’s moved to the Military hospital mortuary.”  


That seems to appease her brother. Thankfully.  


As Sam finishes the conversation, the hand on her neck massages the muscles underneath it gently, as Jack had earlier, as she rotates her neck in tandem. Jack tracks the long line of her neck as it extends to ease the tension where it meets her shoulder.  


It’s only then that Jack realises her ring is not on her finger. A quick scout of the room finds it glaring at him from the nightstand. He tries his hardest not to glare back and fails. He studies it and hopes it isn’t some family pass down for Shanahan. Ever since she first presented the ring to him, the setting has always bothered him; bigger than he expected Sam to wear, clunky almost.  


The sight of her bare finger is nothing new or rare; there’s a barely-there indent because she regularly takes it off before missions or when she’s working on some doohickey or another. His heart has done a flip each time he caught sight of her unadorned finger as she prepares to step through the ‘Gate. He usually makes himself scarce by the time she puts it back on. Or they’re both just that good at avoiding each other when she wears it.  


He ponders the ring too long and it doesn’t go unnoticed. Sam clears her throat softly and he turns to her as she’s slipping her phone into her pocket. Her gaze flicks between him and the ring. His stomach churns in a way which is neither pleasant or completely unwelcome.  


“Sorry about that,” she breaks the silence, gesturing at her pocket. “I just…I can’t talk to Mark about Pete…He’s Pete’s friend and I don’t want to explain why I’m breaking up with him before I do.”  


“You don’t have to explain, Carter,” Jack tells her.  


It’s his own fault. He broke a rule and interfered. He promised himself he never would when they locked everything in the room where her father passed away. Somewhere in the last few days, they’ve busted the lock off it and the door is wide open yet they haven’t had time to comprehend what that means for them.  


He doesn’t believe in ghosts, but he knows what it’s like to be haunted. God help him if Jacob and Selmak decide to take their turn when he royally screws this up. By ‘this’ he means Sam’s trust, faith, and friendship. Throw Daniel haunting him into the mix and he’s the screwed one. He’s pretty sure Jacob put his faith in the wrong person and he’s certain he’d feel the heel of Jacob’s hand connecting with the back of his head if he were here.  


“You took your ring off.” He states it yet there’s a question in his tone.  


Sam drops onto her father’s bed, contemplating the ring for a beat longer before turning her face to his. “Doesn’t feel right to wear it,” she tells him while shuffling closer to the pillows to make space for him. “Not when I’m giving it back.”  


There’s that double churn again. He’s got to be his own worst enemy because he can’t stop himself from checking, “Are you sure this is what you want after today? Your dad, Anubis, self-destruct?”  


“It’s not fair to Pete,” Sam explains with a nod. “Whatever he was trying to do, my dad has nothing to do with my decision.” Her brow scrunches momentarily as she trails off. She takes a deep breath and wrings her hands in her lap. “He was trying to talk to me, in the end, and I kept telling him I was happy. I thought it would be easier if he thought I was. He didn’t believe me,” she says trying to cover the catch in her voice.  


“Are you?” He thinks back over the conversations he had with Jacob leading up to his death. The older man wanted reassurance from Jack too. Jack couldn’t blame him. They’ve had years to act on their feelings, and he probably thought Sam didn’t matter enough to Jack.  


Their gazes connect. “Yes.”  


Jack ponders the immediate bold response and moves over to the bed. He sits beside her, leaving a respectable space between.  


“Dad was right about Pete,” she concedes. “But I’m happy with my life, this life. I made a mess of figuring that out.”  


His feet inch forward as she talks, listening intently. “No, you didn’t.”  


“I made it more complicated than it needed to be.”  


“It was already complicated,” Jack supplies and she gives him a look telling him to stop letting her off the hook. He isn’t, just sharing the blame. He knows it’s going to be hard enough to give the ring back and break Shanahan’s heart. “There’s no simple answer.”  


“I just wanted to clear Dad’s room while I figured out what to say to Pete,” she admits. Twisting, Sam folds the leg closest to him under the other so she’s facing him.  


“Taking time isn’t a bad thing but you don’t have to do clear out right now.”  


Sam huffs, her lips curving self-consciously as she ducks her head to hide it. “When mom died, Dad packed her things away before Mark or I could even think about doing it. I know he was trying to protect us in his own way back then, but it ended up being another thing which drove the wedge between them deeper,” she softly shakes her head. “Not that I can ask Mark to help now, but I don’t want an airman doing it even if they have to check the boxes before they leave the base.”  


“I get it,” Jack replies. Charlie’s room…He stops himself there. Dragging up the past won’t change anything. “I can help,” he offers instead and is rewarded with a bashful smile.  


“Thank you for the offer, Sir, but I’m almost done.” She only looks around the room and the few belongings. There’s not much left to do. Jacob travelled light when he was here. She was busy before braving the call to her brother. “You could help me carry the boxes to my car.”  


“Gee, if I’d known there was heavy lifting involved, I would’ve bought T with me,” he quips and her smile grows. Her head tilts in a silent question about their friend and his absence. “He and Bra’tac are gathering intel on Anubis’s forces in case he tries to attack again,” Jack explains.  


“Oh.”  


Silence stretches between them and he doesn’t know how to bring up the moment on his roof before everything went to hell so he doesn’t. She seems content as she is and he doesn’t want to put any more pressure on her.  


“You need anything?”  


“Actually, I was going to ask you to cancel the leave that I requested.” She doesn’t mention Pete or the wedding which is about to be cancelled. Or the honeymoon.  


“Let’s not be too hasty,” Jack finds himself saying and holds up a hand to stop her from arguing with him. “Wait till we find out what’s happening with Anubis before deciding anything,” he counters. “And, just so you’re prepared, I actually expect you to leave if you have leave.”  


“What would I do for two weeks?” She quirks an eyebrow at him. “It’s not like you can stand at the elevators all day to wait for me to try and sneak in Sir,” Sam grumbles when he simply stares back at her. He would do just that if it meant she got some rest. Hell, he’ll babysit her at home if he has to.  


“Maybe you should get out of Colorado for a bit.” Jack clears his suddenly dry throat. “He shrugs off the bout of hesitation which attacks him. “You know the cabin is free,” he suggests.  


Her head snaps up and he struggles to explain that he’s not inviting a currently-engaged woman, who he has complicated feelings for, whose father just passed away, to the cabin. With him.  


It’s too soon.  


“I don’t mean…” He waves a hand between them. “I don’t have to be there. You could go alone, take a couple of books, your laptop, it’s good place to…sit and think.” He pauses and holds up a finger. Her eyebrow cranks another half a centimetre. Teal’c’d be proud. “Though you’ll have to promise you’ll keep the thinking to a minimum, it’s one of the cabin rules.”  


“Cabin rules?” Sam repeats with a twinkle in her eye.  


“Only two,” Jack says with the right amount of authority on the matter. “Minimal thinking and no ranks.”  


“Really?” He nods. “You’d be okay with me going alone?” She questions, her face dissolving into a soft expression.  


“Of course,” Jack answers while concentrating on the fact that she hasn’t said no.  


“You would, wouldn’t you?” He nods easily again when her nose wrinkles and she ducks her head. When she looks back up there’s a coyness in her eyes. “I, uh, I think I would feel like I’m intruding in your private space without you there, Sir.”  


“I’m pretty sure I’ve hidden the embarrassing baby photos my grandparents kept of me,” he counters lightly as if it’s not the big deal it is.  


The thought of her in his cabin alone, surrounded in his memories is something he’s barely indulged in. He already knows what her favourite reading spot will be, the armchair in front of the small window at first light before venturing outside onto the small deck as the day goes on.  


“If I can trust you not to go looking for them, that is…” His voice dips and his chest thumps at the idea of her going to cabin at all even without him. She smirks at his challenge.  


“No promises, Sir, except I think I’d prefer to hear the stories which go with them when I find them.” Her smirk devolves into half a smile which spreads warmth through his chest. Still, no outright refusal and it feels like she’s on the cusp of agreeing if…  


“Oh, I think that can be arranged.” Her smile grows into a full beam and he would be lost if not for the light catching the lens of the camera over her head in the corner of the room distracting him. There’s no audio and he’s glad he left a respectable distance between them.  


“So, we can go fishing?”  


“Anytime you want,” Jack agrees gently, resisting the urge to tuck a rebellious lock behind her ear.  


It’s more than fishing, always has been. He’s not convinced everything will fall into place because of a fishing trip. Not by a long shot.  


Jacob still needs a decent send-off. She still has to talk to Pete. Anubis could still be out there. They’re still bound by their duty. But he’s placated that she wants to go fishing. With him.  


“Once I talk to Pete,” Sam starts, looking at her hands in her lap. “I’d, uh, like to finish our conversation from the other night,” she finishes looking up at him.  


“Anytime you want,” Jack promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go...


	5. Chapter 5

Strongest Ties – chapter five  
  
_“Life doesn’t have plots and subplots and denouements. It’s just a big collection of loose ends and dangling threads that never get explained.” - Grant Morrison._  
  
When she finally feels she is able to leave the mountain – after all the paperwork is done and when she can’t put off the inevitable any longer - it’s under the cover of darkness at three in the morning. Breathing in the air topside is clearer than the recycled air in the base. Beside her, Jack carries two of the boxes from her dad’s room while she holds the other two. Neither talk as she unlocks the car, bracing her boxes with one hand and her hip and lifts the boot door with the other. There’s a sense of finality with the click of the lock.  
  
Her dad is gone.  
  
She let Teal’c hold her when she told him about her father, feeling his brotherly affection through his strong arms and silent strength. Bra’tac offered condolences in the form of a bow and telling her of his admiration of her father as a warrior and a strategist. Other than that, she’s accepted the condolences from those who offered them with a small smile and a nod, carefully dodging the questions of how she’s holding up. She appreciates their concern but she needs a buffer from getting lost in her feelings. Aside from the danger of losing her composure, she doesn’t really know how to assure people she’s fine.  
  
She misses Jacob and Selmak but she’s okay. She’s better than she would have been if he had succumbed to cancer years ago. They had time to work through everything they left unsaid and then some. He managed to see her for who she is rather than what he expected her to be, which wasn’t a far cry from who she is but he never saw that pre-Selmak because he put so much stock into obtaining that NASA crest for her uniform. In the end, Jacob was happy she never went to space via the conventional, public-friendly means.  
  
She knows her dad loved her and was proud of everything she’s achieved. There’s a niggling worry that he died thinking she was unhappy. She didn’t lie to Jacob. There are things which would make her happier. She’s working on it. From the conversations they had in the days before his death, she knows he approves of her decision.  
  
Lifting her head, she finds Jack’s eyes on her. His feet shuffle as they loiter by the back of her car. His truck is two empty spaces away. The urge to thank him again for being there for her overcomes her. Thank him for being him, really.  
  
She swallows her sigh and studies his profile as he covers his fidgeting by casually gazes around the lot, checking they’re alone. Dressed in civvies, he looks good and she dismisses the thought.  
  
In between checking in with Washington and the rest of the base, Jack’s been there in all the moments she needed him to be, doing what she needed him to do; asking for her status reports, listening to each other’s strategies, with a cup of coffee or with jello at one point. In essence, Jack kept her life as close to normal, or at least what passes as normal for them. He didn’t treat her differently from anyone in his command besides, perhaps, using a softer tone. He made sure she didn’t retreat into her own head.  
  
She tried to support him as they waited for another attack from Anubis. There’s still no clear word on Anubis but Teal’c and Bra’tac are due back tomorrow, hopefully with more information. She sat beside him and opposite Reynolds at the head of the briefing table during the sporadic meetings as details and orders altered. There’s a natural rhythm to the way they work together, always has been. It’s a relief they haven’t lost it.  
  
She isn’t suffocated by his presence. He hasn’t hovered or made decisions for her. He hasn’t asked probing, personal questions. He’s just been there for her to talk which, admittedly, hasn’t been a lot but he accepts her silence too.  
  
Something she doubts she’d get away with if she were at home with Pete.  
  
Mentally she pushed the comparison to the back of her mind, conscious of the ring box in her pocket digging into her hip.  
  
Something has shifted with Jack. Subtle and easy, without them overthinking. The tension which has shadowed them for the past year has stripped away and left them open to making a decision they’ve never been brave enough to make.  
  
“Would you stop thinking for a minute, Carter?” Jack sighs with an easy smile when her eyes snap to his with a questioning look. “Your brain is too loud.”  
  
She’s shielded from the chill of the night as her face warms at his teasing. “I’ll try,” she finds herself agreeing. A beat passes. She’s stalling, not wanting to say goodnight just yet. “How do you do that?”  
  
“Do what?” Jack asks.  
  
“Know the right thing to say,” Sam breathes out, moving forward a fraction.  
  
“Even when it’s wrong?” He says it as a joke but the twitch in his cheek contradicts him.  
  
“Then it’s even better.”  
  
His chest puffs out with a quiet huff as he glances down to the tarmac. “I know you, Carter,” Jack informs her meeting her eyes. “That’s how I know what to say.”  
  
His actions in the last couple of days have proved as much. She bites her lip, unsure how to respond or if she can at all without upsetting the semblance of openness they’ve managed to accomplish in the last few days.  
  
The regs still stand proud between them.  
  
Yet his promise of always lifted a weight from them.  
  
There’s an honesty they haven’t indulged in for months, years even. They’re not talkers but she doesn’t want to hide her feelings from him anymore.  
  
“I thought I was ready to go home,” Sam admits conscious that she’s delaying the inevitable and he’s letting her.  
  
Her home will be too quiet in the dead of night. There’s not the hub of activity of base to distract her from retreating into her head. Thankfully, Pete’s working while she’s lingering to spend time with another man. She doesn’t feel as guilty as she should. She phoned just before midnight and held her breath as his voicemail kicked in. She left a message asking him to meet her at the house in the morning before he goes home to sleep, adding as an afterthought that she was heading to bed so he wouldn’t disturb her to find out why. She’s exhausted and wants nothing more than to crawl between her sheets even though she doubts sleep will find her. She’s still running on adrenaline and her body will crash even if her mind won’t.  
  
“I could hang out for a while,” Jack offers. “If you want.”  
  
_'You can still have everything you want,'_ her father’s voice echoes in her head.  
  
Sam wants Jack’s company, his voice filling her quiet house when she can’t fall asleep. ‘Yes’ is on the tip of her tongue only she knows she has to stop drawing on his support to find her own way. She shakes her head.  
  
“I’d like that,” she sighs.  
  
“But?”  
  
“I’m meeting Pete in a few hours.”  
  
“Right.” He tries to hide his grimace as he drops his gaze to the floor, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He nods slowly, bringing his eyes back up to hers. She sees what he lets her, the questions, the doubt. She wants to assure Jack that nothing will stop her from giving Pete the ring back. “Well, you know where I am if you need me.”  
  
“I know,” she promises. “This is just something I need to do alone.”  
  
Only then can she and Jack properly.  
  
88888  
  
It’s a bright sunny morning when Sam blearily drives over to the house. A travel mug of coffee is in the cup holder of her door and she sips from it as she waits for Pete to turn up. She’s draining the last dregs of it when his car pulls into the street.  
  
“I was gonna bring breakfast but I figured we could go somewhere when we’re done,” he greets her with a wide grin, completely oblivious to what’s about to happen.  
  
She smiles and is relieved when he doesn’t reach for her ringless hand. The box is in her pocket. He taps the sign proudly, shooting her a gleeful look, as they walk across the dew-covered lawn to the bench by the porch. As they sit, Sam watches a bead of dew roll down the side of her boot. Pete bumps her shoulder, his grin still in place, trying to evoke the same reaction from her. As though they share a joke about the future which he envisions for them in this house.  
  
She can’t return his gesture or enthusiasm. She can’t add to the hurt she’s about to bestow.  
  
“I haven’t heard from you for a few days,” Pete starts, his fingers rub together strangely and she supposes it’s better than trying to touch her.  
  
“I, uh,” she half coughs, half clears her throat. Suddenly it’s real and the dream state she’s been wandering around in falls away. “My dad died.”  
  
“Oh, my God, Sam, I’m sorry.” His arm comes around her quickly and she’s pulled against him in a side embrace. She allows the contact for a beat, stamping down on her thoughts before her mind can make a comparison. She deftly shrugs him off and scoots away a fraction. “What happened? Did you guys have a mission…? How? He was fine…”  
  
The stream of thoughts flows out of him and Sam waits for him to trail off before explaining.  
  
“Selmak was sick,” Sam tells him with a shake of her head. “Dad never said anything till he collapsed.” She takes a steadying breath, fighting off the lump in her throat. “He didn’t want us to save him.” He didn’t want her to save him.  
  
“He probably just,” Pete stops when she looks up at him in silent askance. It’s his turn to sigh and shake his head. “I don’t know what he wanted Sam, I didn’t know him.”  
  
It’s a decent save. But no, Pete didn’t know Jacob. Only what she and Mark have said about their father in the past. There’s nothing Pete can say to make this easier for her and, for once, he realises it. Almost like her realisation that they have two different lives mapped out for themselves which don’t overlap. He’s looking forward to houses and dogs and she can barely look forward to the wedding.  
  
Buying the house threw her but it wasn’t the only thing. It was a sweet gesture; one she can’t live up to. Pete is a good guy, great intentions, devoted, and willing to love. He deserves to be the centre of someone’s world. He’s not the centre of her world and never will be.  
  
“You could’ve called me,” Pete says next. She can hear the question of why she didn’t in his voice.  
  
“There was an incident on base,” Sam tells him. Pete’s face smooths out as he tries to process what kind of incident. His eyebrows peak as he realises what she’s saying and she pre-empts his question by adding, “It was close.”  
  
He’s less than impressed by her explanation but he doesn’t voice his indignation. A lot happened in a short period of time. She’s glad, in a way. Pete will never appreciate that she needed the few hours of doing nothing but her job. She didn’t need to be seen as fragile or delicate, she needed to be herself. Pete will never be able to comprehend how close they were to being wiped out nor the significance.  
  
Her dad would have expected her to do exactly what she did. He would have expected her to fight, to save the planet.  
  
The realisation is just one more reason for her to end the relationship. He doesn’t understand her life. No matter if they married and managed to make a go of it, there’d always be a part of her he can never have.  
  
“I guess it’s over,” Pete says. It takes her half a second to realise he isn’t talking about the engagement. He’s simmering under the surface and she realises that he isn’t the only oblivious one. She doesn’t know him, not as well as she should. “If you’re here now.”  
  
“Yeah,” she agrees cautiously. She has to remind herself this isn’t an interrogation. She expected anger just not about her dad’s death or the events afterwards. “Look Pete, I-.”  
  
“We can postpone the wedding,” he cuts in quickly as if anticipating her. She closes her eyes briefly, shaking her head.  
  
“I can’t Pete,” Sam tells him opening her eyes, finally taking the ring box out of her pocket and holds it out to him. “I can’t get married.”  
  
He looks between her and the box. His cheek twitches and deep lines appear on his forehead as he tentatively reaches out for it. He hefts it a little and turns it into his palm. His fingers close around it. “I can give you time, Sam,” Pete promises.  
  
“This isn’t about time.”  
  
He gives her a once over, weighing up whether it’s worth the argument. “I guess it never has been, has it?”  
  
Sam isn’t quite sure what he means by that but doesn’t push for clarification. “It isn’t because of my dad.” Sam wants that point to be clear. Her decision has nothing to do with grief. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while.”  
  
He looks away, steadies himself and says it, “You care about someone else.”  
  
“Pete,” Sam starts to shakes her head only for his hand to close over hers and squeezes gently.  
  
“Sam,” he pleads. “I tried to convince myself it was your work that distracted you. It’s…I barely comprehend the significance because I don’t see any of it, I don’t experience it.” Pete scrunches his face. “But he does, doesn’t he?”  
  
She stares at him for a beat, studying him. The work connection is not a huge leap, where else would she meet anyone? The resignation in his eyes implores her to be truthful.  
  
“Yeah,” Sam admits softly, looking away. His hand falls from hers and links it with his other. She can’t lie to him like she’s lied to herself for months. She’s been trying so hard to make herself believe she could move on from Jack. Apparently, she only fooled herself. “Nothing has happened while you and I were together. I thought it was over, that we both needed to move on...” She breathes out and meets his eyes again. “I never meant to hurt you.”  
  
“I believe you,” Pete says. “You’d never intentionally do that. Does he know how you feel?”  
  
“I think so, but we’re not…I don’t know what if anything will…” Sam admits, thinking of Jack’s hand in hers as he said ‘always’. Pete clears his throat uncomfortably. He doesn’t need the details. “All I really know is marrying you wouldn’t be fair to you when I feel this way about him.”  
  
Pete bobs his head, trying to hide the way his face crumples. She isn’t leaving Pete because everything will fall into place with Jack. Because it won’t, not without some serious changes. He cares for her; she cares for him. At the moment that’s as far as it goes. She’s not being overly cautious. She won’t lose herself with fantasies either because one wrong move and they still end up with a court-martial.  
  
“I knew from the beginning. I guess I just thought when you said yes that…” Pete breaks into her thoughts. His clasped fingers flex where they dangle between his legs and he looks over at her, trying to catch her eyes. But she shifts, her own hands clasped, her index fingers and thumbs subconsciously pressed together in the shape of a gun as she takes a deep breath. “That you were worth the risk.”  
  
She starts to say something but he stops her. “Don’t say I deserve better.” He pauses. “It can’t get much better than you.”  
  
“That’s not true.”  
  
“I wish I could believe this had to do with your father.” Perhaps that would’ve been kinder but it would have left them in limbo and she doesn’t want to leave him with any doubt they could work out. “You needed some time to sort things out. I guess all I can say is I hope you get what you want.”  
  
“That’s it?” Sam  
  
“What do you want? You want me to get down on my knees and beg?”  
  
“God, no. Of course not. I just…I thought you would react differently.” She’s only experienced this once before and Jonas didn’t encourage her to get what she wants. She thought Pete would put up more of a fight.  
  
“Bye, Sam.”  
  
“Pete,” but he’s already standing and crossing the short distance to the sold sign. She watches him, she can’t keep him any longer just to satisfy her own need to make sure he’s okay. He hesitates but he doesn’t give her another look.  
  
She stays on the bench as his car does a U-turn in the road and drives away. Mulling over his words, she can’t help but think that she knows what she wants, has for a long time. Now it’s up to her if she gets it.  
  
8888  
  
Two sets of raised eyebrows stared back at him as he waits for their answer. They quickly conferred with a wordless look and tilt of the head they perfected over the years. Jack bounces on his heels as he counts off the seconds in his head. Eventually, Daniel took pity on him.  
  
“You’re inviting us to go fishing?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“With you and Sam?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
A long beat.  
  
“Do we have to?”  
  
“Um, well, no,” Jack says, second-guessing his invitation. One look at Teal’c tells Jack, he’s on the same page as Daniel.  
  
It’s not their fault and Jack can’t exactly explain the conversation he had with Hammond twenty minutes which turned made him do a one-eighty with his plans. So he waits for his friend to explain why they don’t want to spend a week at the cabin.  
  
“We want to, it’d be good to mark the occasion with just the four of us,” Daniel clarifies. Teal’c says nothing except Jack knows he doesn’t quite agree. He gets the impression if were anything other than fishing, the Jaffa would be on board. Daniel makes an awkward sound in his throat. “It’s been a while since we have. It’s just…” Daniel winces as he struggles with the right words. “It’s just that we don’t want to interrupt ‘fishing’. We know how long you’ve waited to go ‘fishing’.”  
  
Thank God he doesn’t use quotation marks, Jack thinks. Jack’d hate to make the archaeologist re-ascend so soon after descending. He really should get the geeks upstairs to work on an alarm for that kind of thing. They can’t have anyone just descending onto the base without triggering some warning.  
  
“Look, I’m not asking you to be chaperones,” Jack clarifies. He and Sam don’t need chaperones. He won’t lie, he doesn’t want to screw up by moving too quickly even if he’s following Sam’s lead. He wants to remove the pressure and hopes Sam understands. “I’d prefer to call you buffers.”  
  
“Jack,” Daniel starts.  
  
“O’Neill,” Teal’c cuts in. “I must attend a meeting on Dakara with the Free Jaffa before I can visit your cabin, Daniel Jackson has expressed his interest in seeing the ruins.”  
  
“Of course, he has,” Jack drawls sarcastically, eyeing the archaeologist who just shrugs innocently, taking Teal’c’s lead.  
“We can follow you up,” Daniel suggests. “Meet you there.”  
  
Daniel doesn’t say anything else because there’s a knock on his office door. He sends the guys a look and tells whoever it is to ‘enter’. Sam pops her head around the door first before stepping in when she sees her unit there, throwing them questioning looks before finally letting her gaze fall on Jack.  
  
“Uh, I was just asking the guys to come fishing with us,” Jack explains once she closes the door behind her. He tries his best to appear apologetic yet he doesn’t think he pulls it off when she deflates a fraction.  
  
“We were trying to politely decline,” Daniel provides, trying to ease the tension.  
  
Sam rolls her eyes as she moves toward the viewing window facing the briefing room and turns her back on it. Thankfully only Walter and Siler remain in the other room after their impromptu gathering to welcome Daniel home.  
  
With all eyes on him, it doesn’t take long for him to start fidgeting. He tosses the pen he had been playing with into the pot on the desk.  
  
“Alright, look, I just got off the phone with Hammond and I was going to wait till we were in Minnesota to tell you that he’s retiring in a couple of months,” Jack looks at his desk and takes a breath. “The President has asked me to step up.”  
  
“Woah,” comes from Daniel, drawing his attention first.  
  
Jack flicks his attention to Teal’c who remains stoic. Finally, he looks at Sam who stares back knowingly. She tilts her head to the side, catching him in a silent conversation. Her understanding resignation tells him she’s not as blindsided as he was when Hammond offered him the position. Off the top of his head, he can think of a dozen people better qualified, more diplomatic than him, more likely to toe the line and less likely to piss people off than him. Yet, he doesn’t trust any of them with the job of keeping his people safe from the politicians in DC.  
  
“What are you going to do?” Daniel asks.  
  
“I don’t really have a choice, Daniel,” Jack replies without taking his off of Sam. Her mouth curves upward and she gives him a barely perceptible nod. She knows this wasn’t his plan but knows he has to do this. God, he wishes neither of them was as tied to their duty as they are.  
  
“But-.”  
  
“Daniel!” Jack cuts him off with a pointed look. He takes a deep breath, tempering his tone. “We can talk about this later. For now, this stays between us.” He swept the office for bugs twice after hanging up with Hammond.  
  
Daniel starts to argue again only he stops himself this time when Sam clears her throat quietly, backing it up with her own pointed look. “Can you guys give us a couple of minutes? We can sort out the trip details later.”  
  
If it weren’t for Teal’c heeding Sam’s genial command and effectively ushering him out, Daniel probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere. Siler and Walter perk up as they leave via the briefing room door.  
  
The group don’t hold Jack’s attention for long as Sam moves to the chair in front of his desk. He can see her mind working, rationalising and somehow understands he needs her to impart her opinion on the matter at hand for him.  
  
“You hate DC.”  
  
“I hate DC,” Jack agrees with a nod. “Plonk me down in the middle of an alien planet full of trees and I’ll find a way out,” he mutters.  
  
“We all know how you feel about trees, Sir,” she quips, her clear blues teasing him. He ignores the tug of the word ‘Sir’, choosing to believe it’s out of habit and propriety rather than putting a barrier between them.  
  
“I’ll take trees any day over politicians.” He drops into the spare visitor’s chair beside her, lowering his voice, “I thought we were done.”  
  
According to Teal’c’s intel, Anubis is gone. The remaining, minor Go’auld are slithering to hide in the far reaches of the galaxy. There is no sign of the Replicators after they were disintegrated by the weapon.  
  
“All the more reason to have someone in DC we can rely upon, Sir.” There’s a tenderness to her composure that almost breaks him. He doesn’t even consider pretending to misunderstand. “Our immediate threats have been eliminated,” Sam continues. “We’ll be pushed to resume our original objective of exploring and creating alliances with the aim of exchanging technology and understanding alien cultures.”  
  
She recites it like she is reading the mandate from a file. He knows the point she’s trying to make. Two years of her life was spent negotiating and rallying support for the program before being stationed at the Mountain. She fought for every dollar of funding, every resource they needed. The Government will jump on any excuse to downsize and cut the cost. They don’t need the contingent they have now they’ve won the war. “They’ll divert resources to other parts of the program,” Jack surmises.  
  
“Who understands the program’s needs better than you do?”  
  
“Daniel,” Jack pouts automatically. She indulges him with a head tilt.  
  
“Too bad it’s not a civilian position,” she murmurs. “Besides, he’s eying up the personnel roster for the Daedalus.”  
  
“I should have put money on it,” Jack tuts under his breath. “Well, he can keep his eyes off of it.” He turns serious, remembering one of his memos. “How are the tests on the hyperdrives going?”  
  
“Good, no problems so far,” Sam confirms. “Everything’s changing,” she sighs.  
  
“Too much?”  
  
The air in his office is suddenly loaded. Work, her dad, Pete. She holds his gaze though. “No,” Sam says finally with a shake of her head. “I was actually coming to talk to you about another one.”  
  
“What’s going on?”  
  
“I’ve been asked to head up the Research and Development department at Area 51,” she says it carefully.  
  
“In Nevada,” Jack replies just as carefully.  
  
“Yeah,” Sam exhales. “I know Hammond fielded calls when he was in charge but I wasn’t ready to give up gate travel so I deferred to him,” she hedges a glance at him, questioning.  
  
Jack nods. “If they offered him half as much as they’ve offered me for you…” He whistles for dramatic effect rather than try to remember the specifics of the weapons and defence systems they promised just to have Sam run the department. It was only a matter of time before they approached her directly. She ducks her head to hide her reaction but he can see the twitch of her lips. “The timing sucks,” he apologises.  
  
“It was pointed out to me recently that this has never been about timing,” Sam informs him with a cocked eyebrow. “It’s about what we want.”  
  
“What do you want?” He looks at the floor because he’s afraid of her answer.  
  
“I want to go fishing,” comes the simplest reply. He smirks at the linoleum. “But this isn’t just about me. It’s about whether we want the same things.”  
  
“Yes, we do,” Jack tells her looking over at her and wishes they were having this conversation anywhere else. They wouldn’t have to keep themselves in check. They fight their smiles. All the pressure he felt going into this conversation dissipates.  
  
“You know,” she starts. “There’s going to be some overlap.” Sam pauses, huffs as the pink starts to creep up her neck. “While not in a direct chain of command, the Pentagon is kept apprised of the projects.”  
  
“I’m going to need someone to show me around DC on the weekends,” Jack adds catching onto her thinking. This can work, they can work. “Someone who used to stomp the grounds.”  
  
Sam's head bobs slowly. "Sounds like a plan."  
  
8888  
  
Epilogue  
  
They arrive late the on Friday after Jacob is buried. Jack pulls his truck to a stop outside the cabin. When he kills the engine, they sit quietly staring at the small dwelling. His palms feel slick against the wheel as he still grips it. He's given so much thought into bringing her here, now she's here he feels like he's been sucker-punched as he waits for her reaction.  
  
"Show me around?" Sam asks softly, quickly catching his eye before opening the door and sliding out.  
  
"Okay," he agrees just as softly. They grab the bags and cooler from the back before he ushers her toward the porch. Sam scans the area automatically like he's seen her do hundreds of times on missions. She follows him to the porch and he unlocks the front door and confronted by the stale air which has accumulated since he was last here. Walking through the living room to the kitchen area, he gestures to the other sections of the cabin. "I'm going to open some windows, why don't you head out back to check out the pond?"  
  
Sam drops her bag on the armchair by the window, intent on doing just that, when she pauses. She slowly turns, her attention lingering on the walls, taking in every detail. He feels oddly exposed to be sharing a part of himself with her. Unlike other times it doesn't create a tight knot in his chest, it feels like a weight has been lifted. He slings open the window. "Don't even think about it, Carter, you'll never find the baby photos," he quips.  
  
"You've got to sleep sometime, Sir," she beams at him. He tilts his head at her and she bashfully corrects her slip. "Jack."  
  
Her hand closes on the backdoor handle and smirks at him when she turns it without any resistance. Alright, maybe he should pay more attention to locking things. "Yeah, yeah," he grumbles.  
  
Her smile widens as she slips outside. He manages to catch the door before it closes, hearing her soft gasp at the view. Basking in the late afternoon sun, the lake glimmers. He's seen countless wonders off-world but none compare to this sight. The fact it's home, on Earth, reminds him of why they kept fighting.  
  
Sam looks at him over her shoulder. He's seen the same look on her face almost every time she stepped through the 'Gate or if she had some new piece of tech to play with. Her capacity for discovery is as endearing as her penchant for C-4. She's a puzzle he wants to spend the rest of his life figuring out if he can get over the next step.  
  
"This is great," Sam tells him, breaking his reverie. "I can see why you love it here."  
  
"See, I knew you'd get it. I know Daniel and Teal'c won't get it, but I always knew you would."  
  
She indulges him with a grin. She looks back to the water and takes a deep breath. "They know what this place means to you. They're coming because of what you mean to them."  
  
"Well, I guess it's a good as time as any to guilt them into to making this an annual trip," he quips. He's about to say something else when his pocket starts vibrating. "I'm just gonna…" Jack says pulling it from his pocket and jerking his thumb at the cabin over his shoulder.  
  
"Go, I'll stretch my legs," she assures him.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, he finds her sitting at the end of the short dock. Her shoes and socks beside her, her bare feet in the cool, murky water as the sun begins its descent below the tree line. Besides her sits a pile of small smooth looking pebbles. Her hand closes on one and she turns it in a couple of times before gripping it in her fingers. With a flick of her wrist, the pebble is released and it flies toward the water, skipping once, twice, three times before it dives.  
  
"Giving up on the hook and reel before you've even tried, Carter? Trying to take out a fish with a pebble?"  
  
"You mean the fish which aren't meant to be here?" She lifts her chin to look at him, letting him know she's only partly bothered by the potential ramifications of the videotape that was found in Egypt.  
  
"You know, I can live with a couple of fish slipping through the net." He crouches down beside her. Rolling against the pull of his knees, he sits on his butt to remove his socks and shoes, securing the hem of his jeans around his calf by turning them up. He can't help the shiver when scoots up to the edge and plunges them into the cold water, next to hers. He does his best not to baulk and betray his cool exterior.  
  
Coldwater aside, they're in a pretty good place. The Gou'ald, gone. The Replicators, gone. The Jaffa are working on getting along.  
  
"I just spoke to Daniel," he tells her. "They just got back and are going to leave tonight. They think they'll be here by lunchtime tomorrow."  
  
They're quiet for a moment, looking out over the still water. He tries to tell himself there's no pressure except there is. They have waited for four years, longer if he's honest with himself, he doesn't want to screw it up by missing the right moment. He takes in her serene expression, the fact that for the first time in weeks she doesn't look half suffocated by wedding or funeral plans. Another thing which hasn't been far from his thoughts.  
  
They've seen each other through the bad and the wrong and each other's ghosts. They don't disguise their faults, they don’t need to. They see things in each other that they refuse to acknowledge and it makes him feel normal or at least give him another shot at normal. She makes him believe he deserves it because she believes in him.  
  
Her pinky inches over and pokes his hand lightly. "Thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For bringing me here, for waiting for me to be ready to come here," she explains shyly.  
  
"You know, all those times I invited you up here wasn't to…um…well…" Sam looks at him. "Not that I don't want…" She raises her eyebrow. "I'm just going to shut up before I dig myself a hole."  
  
Her expression softens as she takes pity on him. "I think we both know what would've happened if we had come up here four years ago."  
  
"And if it had?" Her pink flush is all he needs. That and the fact that she doesn't back away, meeting his challenge.  
  
"If it had, it would've been amazing," Sam rasps with a tiny, knowing, almost sad upturn of her lips. He gets it. "But we made the right decision for our circumstances back then. And it's okay for us to be nervous now." Sam takes half a step forward. "We've built this up in our heads."  
  
"We?"  
  
"Oh, yeah," she breathes out, ducking her head again before chancing a look at him. It's inviting and everything he wants to give into but he has to get something off his chest first.  
  
"I was going to retire, my letter was ready and then Hammond called," Jack sighs, finding his own pebble in the weeds beside the deck. With a flick of his wrist, it skims across the surface of the water. In the time since the call, Jack hasn’t found time to explain what happened. Not that Sam needs or asked for an explanation, this is for his own peace of mind.  
  
"I know," she whispers. "But I'm glad you didn't."  
  
He gets it; retiring would be on par with buying a house. A huge commitment, a gesture, an obligation neither need or are ready for. Jack doesn’t need to know what happened with Pete, only that Sam gave back the ring.  
  
"I was recently informed that you're the only one who doesn't know that I'm in love with you. Apparently, the only people we're fooling are ourselves."  
  
Warmth spreads through him as she flushes shyly. "Who told you that?"  
  
"Dad might have mentioned something."  
  
Her eyes water at his words, her voice catching slightly as she says, "I hope he knows that I know now."  
  
"I should hope so, I really don’t need him haunting me," Jack says sliding an arm around her. “Come ‘ere.”  
  
Sam shuffles toward him on the deck, tucking herself into his body. Her face lifts as her hand touches his neck, tilting his chin downward. His forehead falls on hers. Her fingers stroke him reassuringly, her thumb guiding him to close the distance. Their lips meet, testing the feel at first before pulling back. They meet again in a tender grasp before moving together to explore one another. Her body falls into him as her other hand travels up his chest to the back of his head, her fingers threading through the short silver strands.  
  
“That night on your roof,” Sam starts, breaking the kiss, her lips brushing against his. "You asked if I was in love."  
  
“You said not with Pete.”  
  
“I never said I wasn’t in love,” she tells him, her nose brushing against his. “I’m in love with you, Jack.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, you comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.


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